Jerry M. Daniels, PhD

Public schools are gearing up for the fall semester and teachers, administrators, counselors and student leaders are hard at work making all sorts of preparations. This story was told to me and I couldn’t help but plead with school officials that they not be guilty of this kind of behavior.

The sponsor of a student leadership club was having pizza with a group of the most active and successful upperclassmen in the school. Keep in mind that the first day of classes is still two weeks away so these highly motivated students are giving up portions of their summer vacation to participate.

Each year a few sophomore students are invited to attend these meetings to guarantee greater continuity with club responsibilities – let’s call this particular sophomore Susan. Susan was a little late arriving at the meeting due to her participation in marching band. She came into the classroom wearing a tank top. This would not be seen as unusual for anyone that has experienced the Texas heat in August. Soon after Susan arrived in the classroom where the club was meeting, an assistant principal happened by. Ignoring the pep-talk being given by the sponsor, the administrator immediately approached Susan and dressed her down for showing up at school in a tank top. Susan was told to change immediately and if she could not find clothes, she could not participate.

In the opinion of the person recounting the story, the reaction of the administrator was out of proportion for the infraction. To compound matters, it happened in front of a classroom full of other students and the sponsor. By the time the lecture concerning the tank top had ended Susan was sobbing. The sponsor tried to console her but the damage had been done. Susan told the sponsor that she would no longer take part in the leadership club. She said that she was already intimidated being a sophomore in a room filled with upperclassmen. Now she had been humiliated in front of them by a school official. It was too much. She could not face the other students again.

I am the first to say that rules are made to be followed, but if you plan to live your life with hard edges and everything in black and white, get ready for a very challenging existence.  What was the cost of enforcing that rule at that moment? What was the cost of enforcing that rule in that way? What was the cost of enforcing that rule in public? We can never know what Susan may have achieved as part of that club or how the school may have benefitted by her participation. What we do know is that the student and the school are lesser for having a list of rules placed before the needs of a child.

Think before you speak or act, especially where a child is concerned. Intent doesn’t really matter when your words wound someone.